Learn To Do 3 Things Well

Changing Your Focus

Your Life doesn't get better by chance, it gets better by change
Everyone longs to be accepted for who they are.  They want to be loved exactly as they are, not “I will love you if…. or I will love you when.”  If you are constantly asking your partner to change (or if they are always asking you to change) they will feel unloved and criticized.  Resentment begins to build and creates distance.
Your partner can change, but it has to come from their desire, not from you asking or pushing for it.  The only changes people make are driven by what they want.  People change because they want to enjoy something more or because they want to stop the pain of something.  Your goal is to see that you can control yourself and your boundaries not them.

The only thing that you can change is yourself – You cannot change your partner

 Learn to do 3 things well.
  1. Love the other just the way they are, not “I will love you if…. or I will love you when.”
  2. Develop the personal value that you want to grow change and be the best version of yourself.  Change because it is your personal value.  Change can’t be forced by your partner – it has to be your priority.  You will either intentionally change and grow, or the pain of staying the same will create consequences.
  3. You have to understand that happiness is your own responsibility.  You must own happiness yourself.  Your partner can’t be the source of your happiness.  Your happiness and joy comes from yourself and God….not your spouse.
Put your effort into changing you.  Don’t ignore your spouse or leave them to become happy.  Find happiness and joy where you are at.  You will be amazed as you began to love yourself, your relationships with everyone will change.

100 Men

Providing an Intervention

100 MEN

Please Make a Tax Deductible Donation 

I wanted to ask for your help with two things:
  1. Prayer – Please pray for the Transformation Center and the lives that God impacts through us.
  2. Give – We are asking for 100 or more men step forward and give to help us change men and the lives that they interact with.  We are asking for a gift of $150, but any gift and any amount will help.
The idea to call this campaign “100 Men” comes from research about boys.  The research is titled For every 100 girls ….  This research asks the question for every 100 girls that, graduate from High School or college, commit suicide, or are in prison, how many boys do the same thing.  The comparison of educational and life events is a fascinating and scary picture. Here are a couple of the statistics.
  • For every 100 girls who repeat kindergarten 194 boys repeat kindergarten.
  • For every 100 girls suspended from public elementary and secondary schools, 215 boys are suspended.
  • For every 100 girls diagnosed with a learning disability 276 boys are diagnosed with a learning disability.
  • For every 100 females ages 15 to 19 that commit suicide 549 males in the same range kill themselves.
  • For every 100 women ages 18 to 21 in correctional facilities there are 1430 men behind bars.

I’m asking for help for three reasons. First, I want to make you aware of a very serious threat to family relationships in our community: domestic violence. Second, I want to make you aware that there is hope of restoring these family relationships. Third, I want to tell you what you can do to help pave the way for restoration.

10 Ways to Love

Love Must Have An Object Or A Focus

10 Ways to Love

Love must have an object or a focus. In the Bible, love is described as personal and selfless always desiring the best for others. The ultimate expression of love is God’s love in sending his Son to die on the cross to save sinners – Romans 5:8; John 3:16; 1 John 4:10. Christians should be known by the fact that they love God and others – John 13:34-35. Love is best seen in actions and should be identified with what we do—in our compassion and commitment to those around us – 1 John 4:19. How we love others with our attitudes and behavior should reflect God’s love. Jesus said that only two commands are needed to govern our lives: love of God and love of neighbor – Matthew 22:36-40. “Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love” – 1 John 4:8


Lean Into Risk

Trust God from the bottom of your heart; (1)

Our biggest regrets in life are the chances we didn’t take, the relationships we were afraid to have and the decisions we waited too long to make. I don’t like risk.  I love a good challenge and pushing the edge but I avoid emotional risk and uncertainty…… I think most of us do.  We are afraid to be hurt so we create a wall that we think holds back the risk of pain. The real problem is that all it holds back is the true joy that comes from emotional connection.

Are You Curious?

the best people are learners


My favorite words are possibilities, opportunities and curiosity. I think if you are curious, you create opportunities, and then if you open the doors, you create possibilities. – Mario Testino

My grandfather would say often “we are curious.” I didn’t know what he meant.  I think I am beginning to now.  It is interesting that many of the things he said I am just now beginning to understand.

I am drawn to people that want to grow. My guess is you are to. I think the best people are naturally curious learners.  They want to know more and grow more. This attitude produces a humbleness and compassion for others. People that are curious are humble, they don’t know everything and they are secure with that.

God Delights in You


Loathe, despise and fight evil. Strive to never hate anything God has created. Especially yourself. It is sad that we learn to hate ourselves or others. Don’t hate the very thing God delights and created with great joy. Learn to love and delight in yourself

The Lord your God is with you,
    the Mighty Warrior who saves.
He will take great delight in you;
    in his love he will no longer rebuke you,
    but will rejoice over you with singing.” – Zephaniah 3:17

Long before he laid down earth’s foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love, to be made whole and holy by his love. Long, long ago he decided to adopt us into his family through Jesus Christ. (What pleasure he took in planning this!) He wanted us to enter into the celebration of his lavish gift-giving by the hand of his beloved Son. – Ephesians 1



Thinking About Mother’s Day

Celebrate the Women in Your Life

HappyMother's Day


The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.
Theodore Hesburgh
I remember my mother’s prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life.
Abraham Lincoln


Her children rise up and call her blessed;
    her husband also, and he praises her:
 “Many women have done excellently,  
but you surpass them all.” Proverbs 31:28-29

She is clothed with strength and dignity,
and she laughs without fear of the future. Proverbs 31:25

My Mother and Grandmother have always been a vital and dear part of my life.  I thank God every time I remember them.  Everything I am and everything I enjoy most in my life has come from the women that I hold most dear.  I am blessed to have a wonderful, Grandmother, Mother, Wife and Daughter
Thanks – I love You