Most couples struggle to stay connected. It is usually not a big life event but a slow drift that pull couples apart. Two things seem to create the drift.
- Life Stage – This is Good things like jobs, kids, church or community involvement can pull a couple away from each other. Many times it is just busyness.
- Life Struggles – This is things like health problems, addictions and couple conflict.
If the devil can’t make you bad he will make you busy – Dr. Mike Chapman
You have to make your relationship the priority. Sometimes the priority is the struggle of scheduling, but many times it is just taking the time to focus on each other in a positive relaxed environment. Here are a couple of things that can keep you moving toward each other instead of drifting away.
- Schedule Time Together – Shared experiences are the cornerstone of healthy relationships. Make them and priority. If it is important to you it is on your calendar.
- New Experiences Together – Experiencing new things helps you understand and appreciate your spouse in new ways.
- Rediscover Each Others Strength and Beauty – You were once drawn to something in your spouse. It is usually their unique strength and beauty that caught your eye. Each day look for ways to remind yourself of their strengths. So often we only see the negative things our spouse struggles with.
- Create Tech Free Times Together – How many times do you just come home and veg in front of the TV, phone or tablet and wonder why your spouse is not interacting with you? When you go out to eat leave the phone on silent and focus on them and not the light blinking on your phone. Each night try to spend 1 hour with the Tech gadgets put away and talk about the day with each other.
Truth is, you will never know all there is to know about about your spouse. You are both by nature too complicated to be understood fully. You are both a beautiful mystery that you move toward and enter into daily with the goal of enjoyment. So, you can choose either to approach each other with suspicion or to approach each other with an open mind, optimism and a willingness to believe they desire your best.