{"id":1112,"date":"2015-04-14T09:00:38","date_gmt":"2015-04-14T13:00:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.connectedtogether.org\/?p=1112"},"modified":"2015-12-10T17:00:38","modified_gmt":"2015-12-10T22:00:38","slug":"2-things-you-need-to-keep-your-marriage-strong-that-you-doesnt-come-from-your-spouse","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.connectedtogether.org\/?p=1112","title":{"rendered":"2 Things You Need to Keep Your Marriage Strong That Doesn&#8217;t Come From Your Spouse"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.connectedtogether.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/2-Things-You-Need-to-Keep-Your-Marriage-1.png\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-1187\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.connectedtogether.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/2-Things-You-Need-to-Keep-Your-Marriage-1.png?resize=600%2C200\" alt=\"2 Things You Need to Keep Your Marriage - 1\" width=\"600\" height=\"200\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.connectedtogether.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/2-Things-You-Need-to-Keep-Your-Marriage-1.png?w=600&amp;ssl=1 600w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.connectedtogether.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/2-Things-You-Need-to-Keep-Your-Marriage-1.png?resize=300%2C100&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.connectedtogether.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/2-Things-You-Need-to-Keep-Your-Marriage-1.png?resize=518%2C173&amp;ssl=1 518w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.connectedtogether.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/2-Things-You-Need-to-Keep-Your-Marriage-1.png?resize=82%2C27&amp;ssl=1 82w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>The primary thing that couples are always building and protecting is the strength of their <a title=\"5 Small Things That Can Help You Connect \u2013 Its The Small Stuff That Counts\" href=\"http:\/\/www.connectedtogether.org\/?p=1068\">emotional connection<\/a>. Shared experiences together <a title=\"3 Ways to Help Grow the Emotional Bond in Marriage\" href=\"http:\/\/www.connectedtogether.org\/?p=961\">along with creating positive affirmation<\/a> are the first steps to building emotional connection. \u00a0The next step is to\u00a0find friends and environments that support your marriage and to understand that real happiness is up to you.<!--more--><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Maintain close relationships with family and friends.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>A balanced life includes a community. \u00a0Every couples needs family and friends that encourage, support and help them grow and protect their relationship. We have all seen and heard marriages that struggle and fall apart. Develop friends and interests that support and encourage your marriage.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>&#8220;Dr. Coontz thinks all this togetherness is not necessarily good for couples. The way to strengthen a marriage, she argues, is to put fewer emotional demands on spouses. This doesn&#8217;t mean losing emotional intimacy with your husband or wife. It just means that married couples have a lot to gain by fostering their relationships with family members and friends. The happiest couples, she says, are those who have interests and support &#8220;beyond the twosome.&#8221; <em><a href=\"http:\/\/amzn.to\/1OVPAKF\" target=\"_blank\">For Better: How the Surprising Science of Happy Couples Can Help Your Marriage Succeed<\/a><\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Happiness is your responsibility.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p class=\"entry-content\">Most people have a baseline of happiness that eventually returns to a natural set-point, even after positive events like marriage, kids or a promotion. True happiness is within each individual, expecting a spouse to create happiness is unrealistic and unfair.<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p class=\"blockquote\">&#8220;What is surprising is that research shows happiness is relatively stable. A major life event (like marriage or the birth of a child) may offer a short-term happiness boost, but studies suggest most people return to their own personal happiness &#8220;set point.&#8221; If you ranked your level of happiness as a 7.5 on a scale of one to 10, research shows that most of the time, the events of your life won&#8217;t change that. You&#8217;ll pretty much be a 7.5 happy person all your life.&#8221;\u00a0<em><a href=\"http:\/\/amzn.to\/1OVPAKF\" target=\"_blank\">For Better: How the Surprising Science of Happy Couples Can Help Your Marriage Succeed<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p class=\"blockquote\"><strong>Now I struggle with this one.<\/strong> \u00a0My faith says that we can find abundant\u00a0<span id=\"en-ESV-29168\" class=\"text Gal-5-22\">love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,<\/span> <span id=\"en-ESV-29169\" class=\"text Gal-5-23\">gentleness, and self-control<\/span>\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.biblegateway.com\/passage\/?search=Galatians+5%3A22-23&amp;version=ESV\">Galatians 5:22-23<\/a>. So I don&#8217;t agree that we have a set point that can&#8217;t change. \u00a0I know that God can change your heart and attitude. \u00a0Here are some ways that you can change the &#8220;set-point&#8221; and find happiness.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>A relationship with Jesus Christ<\/strong> &#8211; I don&#8217;t believe that true happiness can be found outside of Christ. \u00a0You develop a relationship with Christ when you ask and allow Him to become Lord of your life. \u00a0That can happen now. \u00a0Ask Christ to forgive you and ask show you how to live in relationship with Him.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Develop a heart of <a title=\"Gratitude\" href=\"http:\/\/www.connectedtogether.org\/?p=535\">Gratitude<\/a><\/strong> &#8211; Become grateful, <a title=\"Gratitude Changes Everything\" href=\"http:\/\/www.connectedtogether.org\/?p=570\">it will change everything, yes everything<\/a>. \u00a0\u00a0<a title=\"Gratitude Given or Received Creates Life\" href=\"http:\/\/www.connectedtogether.org\/?p=554\">Gratitude Given or Received Creates Life<\/a><\/li>\n<li><strong>Give to others<\/strong> &#8211; When you give to others it puts things into perspective. \u00a0You learn to see others through giving. \u00a0Looks for ways to sacrificially give often.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Be Optimistic<\/strong> &#8211; Their is always a way for things to improve &#8211; you are not stuck. \u00a0It can always get better and improve. \u00a0Live in the confident expectation of hope.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The primary thing that couples are always building and protecting is the strength of their emotional connection. Shared experiences together along with creating positive affirmation are the first steps to building emotional connection. \u00a0The next step is to\u00a0find friends and environments that support your marriage and to understand that real happiness is up to you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1112","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-marriage"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4Sr1n-hW","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.connectedtogether.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1112","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.connectedtogether.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.connectedtogether.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.connectedtogether.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.connectedtogether.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1112"}],"version-history":[{"count":25,"href":"https:\/\/www.connectedtogether.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1112\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1592,"href":"https:\/\/www.connectedtogether.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1112\/revisions\/1592"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.connectedtogether.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1112"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.connectedtogether.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1112"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.connectedtogether.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1112"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}