The woman in your life wants to be wanted and enjoyed, not just for her body but for her heart. She wants to feel connected to her husband through shared experiences and interests. Look for ways to serve, connect and lead. Here are some things to help you love her more.
- Listen, She Wants To Be Heard – To be truly heard is the longing of every human heart, and your wife is no exception. Guys I know this is hard with busy distracted lives. For many wives your willingness to enter into their world and listen is how they experience love. Set aside some time every day to look into your wife’s eyes and really listen to what she has to say. You may be surprised at what you hear. (James 1:19)
- She Loves To Be Cherished. Even though you may have trouble expressing yourself emotionally, one way or another you have to let your wife know that you love, cherish and admire her. Tell her through words – written or spoken, or thoughtful gift or a romantic getaway. It doesn’t matter how, just make her feel special. For many women these things are her oxygen. When you cherish her and make her feel important, she feels valued and appreciated as a wife. When she does not feel cherished, she may feel resentful or insecure about your relationship.
- Lead By Praying With Her and For Her – Praying on your wife’s behalf puts her and her needs at the forefront of your heart and mind, right where they belong. Praying alongside your wife will strengthen your relationship like nothing else. Guys I know this is hard, sometimes we just don’t have the words, but put the effort in and she will feel loved and safe. Start where you are and be consistent.
- She Wants Sex, Just Differently Then You – Learn to be generous in bed but also generous out of the bedroom. It may mean washing the dishes or helping with the kids, so that she has energy left at the end of the day. It may mean cuddling and candlelight, so that she can relax and let the worries on her mind drift away. If you aren’t sure where to begin, just ask her, and then listen. Many women are open and want to enjoy intimacy with their spouse, but you have to give them time to switch gears from the hectic day to intimate time with you.
- Set Aside Time For Just Her – She needs to see that she is a priority with your time. Schedule a date night and do the work. Find the sitter and make the reservations. She is usually the one that does the work for date nights. Take the time to intentionally create a night together without the kids and distractions.
- Notice When She Is Stressed Or Overwhelmed – A man’s willingness to do housework is a major predictor of marital bliss, according research. You must pay attention. Picking up on the cues that she needs help will make her feel seen, noticed and important. This support can fight the aloneness that many people feel when they are stressed and help her to feel secure. Many women don’t ask for help, so you have to notice or ask her. Is she abrupt or tense when she speaks to you? Sighing heavily while unloading the dishwasher? Quiet and withdrawn? Time to jump in and help. Your support should not be limited to just housework. Run a bubble bath for her, pick up a rose or her favorite dessert, or better yet ask her about her day and listen.
- Put The Seat Down – You would be surprised at how angry a woman can get about a raised toilet seat They are a pet peeve of wives everywhere. And while you’re at it, tidy up a bit. A little consideration goes a long way. Find out what makes her tick and what ticks her off. (Philippians 2:4)