5 Keys to a Happy Wife….. Maybe a Happy Life


We have all heard the phrase, “Happy Wife, Happy Life”. Is their any truth to it?  Researchers evaluated the survey of 18,000 adults 50 years old and older.  Here are some of their conclusions:

“Happy wife, happy life. But it cuts the other way, Miserable wife, miserable life.

if a man is unhappy in the relationship but the wife is happy, she’s more likely to provide him benefits that enhance his overall life — she’ll engage in sexual relations, provide emotional support and take on household chores.

As for why women’s happiness doesn’t seem to be affected by their husbands’ marital satisfaction, researchers conjectured that wives generally have no idea if husbands are happy with marriages or not because men aren’t socialized to discuss feelings, good or bad.

If a wife is unhappy with her marriage, she’s going to do something about it,  She might complain; she might be less forthcoming with love and support. Men are not the ones to say, ‘We need to talk about the relationship.’ If they’re unhappy, they’re going to sit in their chair and stew over it.” – Rutgers Research

I want to make a disclaimer before I start the list.  Your core happiness is your responsibility not your spouses.  If you are a unhappy dissatisfied person your spouse can’t fix that.  Only you and God can create real core happiness.  Your spouse can create a peaceful life with enjoyable experiences.  Focus on your own identity and happiness in Christ and enjoyable experiences together will be easier.  Here are some quick things that can do to create a positive atmosphere and experiences together.

1. Listen – Don’t fix – Most people male or female want to be heard, understood and validated not fixed.  It is after they feel heard that they are open to solutions.  Listen emphatically then ask if she would like some suggestions.

2. Don’t be passive – Move toward her, don’t just react to her.  Initiate conversation and time together.  When problems arise with the kids, money or your family move toward the problem not away.  Most men step back from problems.  When you step back she feels abandoned.  When you step back she feels that it is all up to her.  Put the problem on your shoulder and move toward it with firm gentle kindness.  Also plan a date night. Show her that you actually like her with attention and affection.

3. Focus on the Positive – Always, yes I do mean always, look for and identify the positive. Most of us unconsciously look for the negative so you have to discipline yourself to look for the positive.  Look for it, point it out and acknowledge it with words.  Looking the positive is saying please, thank you, or just showing appreciation for her effort.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. – Philippians 4:8

4. Be Happy – I think this is the most important.  First and foremost you have to be a happy person.  She will not handle the pressure of being the only thing that makes you happy.  You have to become happy in your identity and relationship with God and then share that happiness with her.

5. Support Her – Emotional support and involvement is what touches her heart.  Encourage her dreams and passions.  She needs to know you believe in her. You can do this by listening to her and adjusting your schedule to give her practical support.  Ladies this is one of your husbands biggest needs so try to give this back.

Ladies would you add anything to the list?  Guys how are you doing in these areas?

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

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3 thoughts on “5 Keys to a Happy Wife….. Maybe a Happy Life

  1. #1 is probably my weakest in the list. I try to fix the problem all the time, when sometimes she just needs to be heard. (And has often said so upon me trying to fix things! haha).

    And I want to emphasize that 1st part of the 1st paragraph. It is SO important to not lean on our spouses for our happiness. I think we are led to believe that by the world around us. And then when it doesn’t happen we start looking to leave each other. Our expectations need to change.

    • Yes – the understanding that happiness is your responsibility not your spouse is so important. Without this understanding you will have unrealistic expectations from you spouse.