3 Ways to Help Grow the Emotional Bond in Marriage

Love is patient and kindThe emotional connection that a couple has is the glue of the relationship.  When things start to come unglued it is the strength of the emotional connection that keeps it together.  As a couple you have to create experiences that allow you to strengthen that connection and build trust.  This trust is developed and maintained with a rhythm of experiences you have together.

When life seems stressful our lives and relationships get out of rhythm.  Life begins to get to busy, things like kids, jobs, aging parents and more can change the rhythm of the emotional connection.  Here are three ways every couple can strengthen their emotional bond.  

    1. Shared Experiences – How often do you spend time without electronics where you laugh, play, encourage, affirm and non-sexually touch? These are the characteristics of time together that produce the inner feelings we call intimacy.  These experiences could be everything from a wonderful date night to just cuddling on the sofa watching your favorite show.  You need to have time together.
    2. How You Part And How You Greet – Most couples part by screaming “bye” from across the house. When you part from each other leave with warmth, touch and encouragement, it creates trust. You should greet each other after being gone with the joy that a Golden Retriever greets you, without peeing on the floor.  These two areas seem small but they are significant in how they keep a couple connected.  The warmth of greeting builds trust and importance toward your spouse.
    3. Focus On The Positive Not The Negative – When we feel disconnected or unhappy we focus on the negative.  We only see what is bad and believe if only we could fix the negative all of life would be better. This makes the negative cycle run faster. What makes life and couples better is to focus on the positive traits and activities of your spouse.  Each day you need to work at trying to identify and acknowledge the positive in your spouse.  As you end your day ask yourself was I more positive or negative to my spouse today. If you can’t remember times that you were intentionally positive you were most likely unintentionally negative.  This starts with the intentional effort of being positive.

Marriage is described as work.  I have come to realize the work of marriage is compromise and connection.  The work of marriage can be wonderful and enjoyable with the work of connection.  

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